


Sometimes things are harder than they seem.

by tallulah_belle



Category: Lizzie Bennet Diaries
Genre: F/M, Future Fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-27
Updated: 2013-03-26
Packaged: 2017-12-06 15:27:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/737215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tallulah_belle/pseuds/tallulah_belle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A future fic, where in Lizzie and Darcy have split up, and Jane and Bing's wedding is about to throw them back together, and Lizzie has no idea what he's feeling or how it's going to end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sometimes things are harder than they seem.

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea how this is going to end either. It might not work out happy. Just to forewarn you!  
> Also completely un-Beta-ed. I haven't even read over it again myself because it's too late at night.

Planning a wedding is never an easy task, especially when your mother is breathing down your neck. But Jane, since she was practically perfect, managed everything admirably, right down to the dyed bridesmaid shoes.

Lizzie was excited for her sister, but not excited for the wedding, because that meant seeing Darcy. Darcy who she had dated. Darcy who she had loved. Darcy who had suggested maybe it would be better if they didn’t see each other for a while. Months ago.

She had cried and protested and talked to him and eventually had kind of understood. He was stressed with work, and she was stressed with work, and so they had nothing left for each other. And rather than torture each other, maybe it would be better just to take a break from things for a while.

But she still didn’t really understand why that would be better. Who says they would have tortured each other anyway. She hadn’t realised anything was bothering him until he told her, when it was already too late to change his mind.

So she had spent the last few months buried in work, and helping Jane with the wedding, and trying to believe that she wasn’t really thinking about him all that much. Except that she was. Every spare minute he was on her mind. She could still work, and concentrate, but she couldn’t forget him. She wasn’t even sure that she loved him anymore, since she felt like she hardly knew him. You would have thought they’d had their fair share of trials and tribulations, but clearly fate conspired against them. And now she began to doubt how real it had all been. If things really had been as perfect as she remembered - if they really were made for each other, how had he forgotten her so easily?

They had exchanged a few texts but not a lot. And she had always initiated the conversation. 

And now they would have to see each other because of this wedding. The rehearsal dinner, the ceremony, the meal, dancing at the reception, photos. All of it. The whole weekend, pretty much, they would have to be in each other’s company. How would she stand it? How would they manage not to ruin things for everyone else?

Lydia knew she was worried about something but couldn’t get it out of Lizzie. It was easy enough whilst Lizzie was in SF by herself, or in NY with Jane. But when she went to visit Lydia in her apartment in LA? Or when Lydia visited her? It was a constant barrage of questioning. Well, Lizzie felt like it was. And she didn’t even know what to say because she didn’t even know what she felt. How could she know what she felt until she knew what he felt? What she wanted depended so much on what he wanted, and she had no idea what was going on in his head. How on earth was she supposed to tease it all out on her own!

It was the week before the wedding when Lizzie, Jane and Lydia all descended on their family home. The wedding was going to be in a church nearby, and the reception at the fancy hotel in the centre of town, so they had all come home. Bing and Darcy were staying at Netherfield the night before as Bing’s most recent tenants were off on vacation.

Lizzie saw Jane and Lydia talking about her several times during their first full day at home, but always avoided the conversation they were trying to have with her, not about her. Eventually, after dinner, they cornered her in her room and demanded she talk to them.

“What’s the matter with you, Lizzie?” asked Jane, gently.  
“Yeah, why are you being such a stupid nerd?” Lydia had never been the delicate one.  
“Nothing is the matter with me, OK? I’m just tired from working. And I’m excited about the wedding, of course.”  
“Not OK, Lizzie, you’re not being honest. You can tell us, we’re your sisters!”  
“You used to tell everything to the internet and now you won’t even talk to us! What gives? Tell us what’s the matter!”  
“I can’t tell you.” Lizzie said quietly. “I can’t tell you because I don’t know.”  
“You don’t know?”  
“I don’t know. I mean, I know it’s about Wi- Darcy. And there’s all the obvious stuff. I just - ” she broke off.  
“You just what? You just miss his man-banana?”  
“Lydia!” Jane was aghast, “I’m sure Lizzie missed Darcy because she loves him.”  
“Well, that’s just it. I don’t even know if I do love him anymore. I’m starting to get so used to not having him around. How could I be in love with someone if I barely miss them?”  
“I don’t know Lizzie, I’m sorry to have caused you so much trouble. I mean I know it’s awkward because you’re maid of honour and he’s best man, but what else were we going to do! You guys are the best people for the job!”  
“Ahem! I would have made an excellent maid of honour!” Lydia was indignant.  
“Of course you would Lydia, that’s not what I meant.”  
“Whatever, that’s not even the point. The point is… what are you gonna do? What are you going to say to him?”  
“I don’t know. I was kind of hoping he would start the conversation.”  
“Like that’s ever going to happen!” Lydia snorted and Jane gave her a look.  
Lizzie continued. “What even is there to say, I mean, really we said everything months ago. It was all ‘no absolutes’ and ‘still really care about you’ but it’s not like he’s tried to keep in touch.”  
“I thought the whole point was that neither of you really had the time or the energy to be together? Well if that’s the case then doesn’t it make sense that he hasn’t been able to keep in touch very often?”  
“I know, Jane, but I can’t help thinking that if he still cared about me, he would have made it more obvious. Things were awkward enough in the first place that we were supposed to have figured out how to be direct. Is this not a fairly direct way of saying he’s not interested?”  
“Oh sweetie, you don’t know that. You can’t know that!”  
“I know. I don’t know anything. But I have to figure it out somehow. I mean, I’ve been thinking about it a bit, and I guess there are a limited number of explanations for his behaviour.  
“Number one – he doesn’t like me - that’s why he’s not in touch. Plain and simple. We don’t talk anymore.”  
“Don’t be such a nerd, of course that’s not true!”  
“Number two – he’s confused as anything and doesn’t even know if he wants to be friends anymore and he’s too busy to figure it out so he’s just avoiding the issue for now.  
“Number three – he likes me, and he wants to be friends, he is just really bad at keeping in touch, or not contacting me too much because he doesn’t want to lead me on or whatever.”  
“Lizzie, come here, you’re crying. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”  
She let her sisters hug her and swallowed the lump in his throat.  
“Number four – he thinks he does like me, and he thinks he does want to carry on our relationship, but he still doesn’t have any time and he’s just expecting me to wait around until it suits him for us to get back together.”  
“Oh Lizzie that’s not fair.”  
“Jane, of course it’s fair. This whole thing was about him not having time for me. I mean, there were a bunch of complicated things going on, but if he’d made the time to talk to me then they wouldn’t have come up, or we’d have fixed them instead of letting them ruin everything.”  
“Are there any more?”  
“Yeah, number five – he sees me at the rehearsal dinner and realises that in fact he can’t live without me and the last few months have been a lie and he must have me. And we’ll have one of those awkward angsty conversations like we used to ages ago and then everything will be back to normal.”  
Neither Jane nor Lydia said anything.  
“I knew you wouldn’t have a response. I know that last one’s ridiculous but I have to have something to hope for, right?”

Lizzie was exhausted from the travel and her mother all day and crying. It was exhausting to try and examine her own feelings and try to explain them to anyone else. It was much easier to be in denial. 

Jane and Lydia exchanged a look. Lizzie yawned a little, curled up on Jane’s shoulder, with one hand clutched in Lydia’s. It was really rather early but they kissed her on the head and cheeks and tucked her in to bed. 

Usually Lizzie’s mind would be racing, trying to figure everything out, but tonight it was too much. She was too tired to even remember what had exhausted her, and within moments she was already asleep.


End file.
